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SEX

Basics

Sex work puts you at risk of an STD or HIV.  Using a condom lowers the risk of infection.  Even if you think you haven’t been at risk, it is best to be tested on a regular basis.
If you have been at serious risk (e.g. sex without a condom, a torn condom) or you are very worried, a PEP-treatment is recommended.
More info at www.exaequo.be.

  • Make sure no vaginal fluid, blood, sperm, pre-seminal fluid or saliva of your client comes into contact with cuts, your eyes, mouth, vagina or anus.
  • Don’t have sex if you are too tired or if you are ill

  • Check your body, your penis and your balls on a regular basis.  If you notice any changes, immediately see a doctor

  • Urinate after sex

  • Wash your hands and body before and after sex

  • Wash your penis:

    • Clean the glans and foreskin, including internally, with lukewarm water

    • Preferably use soap without parabens, perfume and dyes

  • Vaginal showers for transwomen

    • Only rinse the outside of your vagina with lukewarm water

    • Avoid soaps, lotions or sprays

  • Enema (anal shower)

    • Do not rinse your bowels on a daily basis

    • Not before and after every anal penetration.  Often it is sufficient to go to the toilet

    • Do not use soap or chemicals

    • Rinse the anus with lukewarm water only (at body temperature)

    • Use a special bottle/jug which can be bought at the pharmacy.  Never attach the tube to the tap

    • Never use an anal shower head that is also used by others

    • No enema after unsafe sex

Techniques

There are different sex techniques you can use.  It is up to you and your client to figure out what turns him/her on. Closely observe your client’s reactions and ask about his/her preferences. You can also see this by keeping eye contact with your client and by reading his/her body language or posture.

 

Body to body massage

  • Is safe without a condom, but when “body-riding”, or “ejaculation between the breasts”, it is wise to use a condom
  • Remove all massage oil before the massage turns into sex

Hand job

  • Is safe without a condom
  • Cover any cuts on your hand with a plaster
  • Afterwards, wash any sperm of your hands

Fucking

  • Always use an approved condom and a silicone- or water-based lubricant
  • You can catch an STD or HIV not just from intercourse, but also from rubbing each other’s genitals or “dry fucking”
  • You can be on top, so you can determine how fast and how deep the client can penetrate you
  • If you do get sperm in your body, go to the toilet.  Do not use anal rinsing

Oral sex

  • Always use an approved condom
  • After brushing your teeth, wait at least 30 minutes before having oral sex.  Also wait for 30 minutes after sex
Blowjob
  • Check your client and especially his penis before starting.  It is better to refuse a client who has blisters, sores or warts on or around the penis.  These can be a symptom of an STD
  • Take your time and always breathe through your nose
  • Hold your hand around the base of the penis.  This way, you can check that the condom doesn’t slide off and you can determine how deep you will take the penis in your mouth
  • Deep throating may cause a gag reflex.  Give yourself time to get used to this.  This reflex will disappear after a while
  • Without condom:
    • If you do get pre-seminal fluid or sperm in your mouth, spit it out as soon as possible
    • Do not let the sperm spread in your mouth
    • Rinse your mouth carefully with water.  Do not use disinfectants
    • Wait at least one hour before eating or drinking
    •  
Cunnilingus and rimming
  • Use a dental dam or a condom cut lengthways (also when licking the balls)
  • Place the dam or the condom between your tongue and the vagina/anus
SM/Kinky

If you want to offer SM, ask an expert to give you training first.
Being a master is a big responsibility. The master must keep the acts under control and respect the other person’s limits.  You can agree code words with the client to indicate limits (e.g. “orange” for calm down, “red” for stop immediately).
Make sure there is no exchange of blood, wound discharge and bodily fluids.
Only use equipment that can be cleaned properly and do this before and after every use.

Catheterisation (inserting a tube in the bladder)
  • Avoid catheterising yourself
  • Be extra careful when inserting a catheter in a client
Needles and injecting
  • Always use new needles and thoroughly disinfect them
  • Don’t let anyone inject you with a fluid and never inject a client with a fluid
  • Throw used needles in a needle container
  • If you do not have a needle container, carefully wrap the needles in newspaper and then throw them in a bin bag
Piercing
  • Avoid inserting (temporary) piercings into yourself or your client
  • If you do, always use new material and thoroughly disinfect it
Shaving
  • Use disposable blades and change these after every client
  • Clean your clippers with disinfectant
  • Make sure you don’t cause or receive any cuts
  • Avoid contact with blood and wound discharge
  • Throw used blades in a needle container
  • If you do not have a needle container, carefully wrap the blades in newspaper and then throw them in a bin bag
Bondage (tying or being tied)
  • This should only happen with mutual consent and trust
  • Never let yourself be tied or hit by a client you don’t know or trust
  • Make sure you agree on things in advance (e.g. how tight the ropes can be)
  • During bondage, agreements can be adjusted
  • Use ropes made from natural material; not nylon ropes
  • Always clean whips and toys with non-irritating soap and water before and after use
Fisting
  • Make sure nails are cut short
  • Always use a latex glove or a female condom for anal fisting
  • Remove rings, piercings and bracelets
  • Apply enough greasy or water-based lubricant
  • Fisting is a gentle act
  • Be careful with sexual contacts after fisting.  This sexual contact carries high risk as the greasy lubricant is still present in the anus or vagina
Golden shower
  • It is not a problem to get urine on your skin
  • Afterwards, wash your skin with water and soap
Scat (poop sex)
  • Carefully wash hands, genitals and anus before and after sex
  • Never eat or swallow faeces
  • If your client had faeces in the mouth, make sure he/she does not kiss, lick or give you a blowjob anymore
  • Make sure not to get faeces or fluids on your hands or mouth
Dildo or vibrator
  • Always put a condom on a dildo or vibrator
  • Use a new condom when re-using the dildo or vibrator on someone else
  • Always wash the dildo or vibrator with water and soap before and after every use
  • Regularly disinfect the dildo or vibrator
Speculum
  • It is best to use disposable specula
  • When using plastic or metal specula, carefully clean and disinfect them
Finger fucking
  • Wash your hands before your start
  • Make sure nails are cut short
  • Cover any cuts on your hand with a plaster
  • Remove rings, piercings and bracelets
Kissing

Do not kiss, if you or the client have blisters, sores or scabs in or around the mouth

Condoms & lubricants

 

CONDOMS

  • ALWAYS use an approved condom for oral, vaginal as well as anal sex. You recognise a good-quality condom by its CE-code
  • The expiry date is also important. Never use condoms after their expiry date
  • Use a condom that suits your size and taste
  • Use sufficient lubricant when having anal sex, so the condom is less likely to split, and you don’t need extra thick condoms.  You can however use those for harder sex
  • It is best to use condoms with a water- or silicone-based lubricant (not oil-based)
  • If you have a latex-allergy, use condoms made of polyurethane
  • Never use a condom for longer than 15 minutes
  • Change the condom when you change partner
  • Never use 2 condoms at the same time
  • Never use a male condom and a female condom at the same time
  • After ejaculation, take the condom tightly at the rim. Carefully pull the condom off the penis, put a knot in it and throw it in the bin
Buying condoms (free of charge or inexpensively) is possible
Storing condoms
  • It is always good idea to carry a condom with you.  Don’t leave a condom in your trouser pocket for too long
  • It is also best not to keep a condom in your wallet
  • Protect condoms from direct sunlight and high temperatures
Putting on a male condom
  • By hand

    • Carefully take the condom out of the packet.  Use your hands, not your teeth (be careful with sharp nails)
    • Place the rolled-up condom on the glans after the foreskin of the erect penis is pulled back
    • Squeeze the top of the condom tight with your thumb and index finger to squeeze the air out
    • Roll the condom over the penis
    •  
  • Orally (by mouth)

    • Take the tip of the condom between your lips
    • Put the condom on the glans. Now push the condom forward
    • It feels as if you are giving your client a blowjob
    • Do this as far as you can get the penis in your mouth
    • It requires some practice, but can be an interesting start to your date
    •  
Putting on a female condom

A female condom can be used between men for fist fucking if you remove the inner ring. Latex free for people who are allergic to it.

A condom tearing

It may happen that a condom tears or slides off during sex.  This is very annoying and carries risks.

Possible causes of a condom tearing

  • You didn’t use (enough) lubricant
  • You used lubricant that isn’t suitable and contains fat or oil, e.g. massage oil
  • Something went wrong when putting on the condom: you damaged it with your nail, there was air in the top of the condom or the condom wasn’t rolled down properly
  • The condom
    • Dried out due to prolonged sex
    • Was of poor quality
    • Was past its expiry date
    • Wasn’t stored properly

Risks?

The risk of catching an STD or HIV after a condom tearing depends on a number of factors:

  • Whether your sex partner has an STD or HIV
  • Where the condom tore (at the top or the base)
  • When the condom tore (at the beginning of the intercourse or at the end)
  • Whether or not you withdrew immediately (the longer the unprotected contact, the bigger the risk)
  • How much contaminated fluid enters or touches your body
  • The quantity of viruses and bacteria present in the fluid
  • The effectiveness of your immune system

LUBRICANTS

  • Water-based lubricants:

    • Dry out after a while
    • Need to be reactivated with saliva on a regular basis or more lubricant needs to be used
  • Silicone-based lubricants:

    • Are stronger and stay moist for longer
    • Less lubricant is needed
    • Recommended for anal sex
    • Should not be used in combination with polyurethane condoms
    • Should not be used for silicone toys

Never use the following as a lubricant: oil-based substances such as oils, creams, massage oil, baby oil, Vaseline, Nivea, etc.

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